How can I find a girlfriend?

I am a college grad who has always had trouble finding a girl to have a romantic relationship with. I have had only one real relationship during my junior year in college and it ended before the point in which we would have had sex. (Alas, I am still a virgin!). The other day my older brother (by one year) and I were talking about this and he advised me to be more aggressive. (I am admittedly somewhat shy). However, I fear that it may be something more basic than that. I used to not think that my brother was that much better looking than me but seeing girls walk across a crowded room to talk to him on more than one occasion while I stood right beside and watched has changed my mind and affected the confidence I have in myself. I'm starting to realize that all the girls I am interested in don't see me as attractive. Without even asking, I can see it in their eyes: "Let's just be friends." If my problem is lack of physical charms maybe I should set my sights lower.

What do you think??


Why am I still having trouble dealing with my parent's divorce?

I have been going through emotional problems lately. I have been crying a lot and thinking about my mom and dad's divorce and how I want them together. I don't understand why now, after all these years, it is bothering me. It has never bothered me till this past school year and nothing has happened in school either.

I keep thinking about how I will never know how it was to live with both my parents. On Christmas, I kept thinking about how I really only had one true Christmas with both of them together and I don't even remember it. People always say the younger the child is when parents get a divorce, the easier it is on a child, but for some reason, that's not true for me because I missed out on it all! All my friends have at least experienced their parents together, and I haven't and never will. They get along fine so it's not like they fight. I haven't told anyone about this and it is getting to the point I can't keep it to myself and can't stop crying. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know why it is bothering me twelve years after they got a divorce and how I can get it to go away. Please help.


How can I have a relationship that's not just based on sex?

I've had a great time at college, but all my relationships have been based on one thing... sex. Sometimes it is all that I want, but sometimes it is all that she wants. Any suggestions on how to find a "nice girl," just to have a good honest relationship with? I'm a model so I don't have problems meeting girls, just keeping them! I am also a very nice person, concerned with nature and I could never hurt a person's feelings if I tried. This leads to problems, however, because it is hard for me to "make my move" for fear of upsetting the girl. I have never been turned down for a first date — plenty of second dates though, but only because I make sure before the first date, through a friend, that there is an interest. If any of this makes any sense, give me a write!


Why am I depressed after a one night stand?

Recently I had my first one night stand. It happened with a guy at a club and it happened very fast without us getting to know each other too much first. The problem is, the next day I felt extremely sad and depressed. I felt like I've been used and felt cheap. I was also sad that he didn't ask me for my phone number even though I wasn't interested in him. I felt unattractive and worthless. Is it normal to feel this way? Do guys ever feel this way too? How can I get over this post-one-night-stand depression?


Does marijuana produce serotonin?

My girlfriend tells me she uses marijuana to calm herself if she is having a stressful day. She has been doing this for many years. She says smoking pot is like self-medicating — it is better than using anti-depressants. She also claims smoking pot helps with depression because of how it helps produce serotonin in the body. What is serotonin and how does it help depression? Does smoking pot really help with managing your anxiety, depression, etc.?


Is there a connection between emotions and physical pain?

When I hear someone make a negative comment about me it sometimes sticks and for some reason my chest will begin to hurt. A friend of mine said it was emotional shock. For a while the feeling went away, but then it got worse. Now the pain will range from my heart to my left arm, depending on how badly (depressed) I feel. In general, I want to know if I should be concerned or if it's just as my friend says: "emotional shock," that's just gotten worse.


Am I ready to start dating a new guy?

I have recently started seeing this man who I think is adorable and things are going really well. My last relationship was a three year nightmare that ended a long time before I finally broke it off. Everyone keeps saying to follow the rules and take it slow and to be careful because I am on the rebound and it is too soon to get involved. How can I know if what I am feeling is right and if I should just go with the flow? I am still feeling so new at all this stuff and I am often very scared to get hurt again. Please give me some of your expert advice!